Once you get through it you will feel superhuman and you will be reminded of the process at every similar point in the future.Īsk for the help you need but back yourself to get through it alone too. It’s in your control to use going through hell as an excuse to get stronger and better. For example, when you lift weights, your muscles break down and re-build stronger. Antifragile, according to Nassim Nicholas Taleb, is when something breaks down and repairs stronger. Resilience is when something breaks down and repairs to equal strength. Remember specific feelings after specific events and revisit your entries in the future to see how far you’ve come. Recognise every temporary emotion and every urge and assess it. Keep a journal and write down your thoughts. This isn’t about sob stories or lengthy attention-seeking Instagram captions, this is about recognising that your unique perspective can help your future self as well as others around you. It might take the form of an article, a podcast episode or guiding a close friend, but the time will come when you can use this experience as a way to help others on the same journey. Whatever you learn can be used, at some point in the future, to help others. They are fully aware that you have the answers and they will help you arrive there.Įverything about this experience makes for great content. Ask for the help you need from the people you trust the most and ignore the “you should” comments, because those that really want to help you will ask you questions, not give you advice. Use this time as a chance to strengthen your closest relationships. It’s easy to give advice, right?ĭiscount irrelevant suggestions. They might be coming at you in all directions. There might be a million opinions on what you should have done or said or what you should do or say now. Stop caring about what everyone else thinks You can wallow in self-pity and dwell on negativity or you can realise that some people would do anything to be where you are, problems and all. Just as waiting around is a tax on travelling and theft or jealousy is a tax on abundance (from the Daily Stoic), think of your problems like a tax on success. What’s the alternative? Zero ambition, zero progress, a safe and stable journey with tiny risks and tiny reward? No thanks! What would Jeff Bezos do? What would Oprah do? What would Warren Buffet do? Solve problems the way the people that inspire you would.Īs you get further along the career or life path of your dreams, your problems become bigger. Take that phrase and sub in the name of your choosing. Some Christians think “What would Jesus do?” and act accordingly. What would they do now? How would they handle it? You could reach out and ask them or you could play the conversation out in your head. Think of three people you know or have heard of who have solved similar problems to the ones you’re facing. Perhaps your circumstances have grown beyond your experience, and this tough time represents the gap between the versions of yourself that can and can’t deal with this. If you're going through hell, keep going. The more ideas you think of the more options you will realise you have. Include every possible solution no matter how crazy it sounds. Uncover the paper hiding every crack and pre-empt future problems, too. Ask “what else could I do?” I don’t mean change course entirely or believe the grass is greener elsewhere, I mean think of all the ways you could solve this problem. See the feedback as refreshing and use it as an excuse to fast track your way to the person you need to be. Some effects have yielded unwanted side effects. Something you’re putting out there isn’t having the desired result. When you’re going through a hard time it’s a sign that something isn’t working. Use this time as an excuse to get better. What can I learn from it? How can I solve it? How can I make sure it never happens again? What did it reveal and what changes do I need to make? It’s easy to gloss over these questions when things are great. You know for sure you will bounce out of this, so sit in the bounce and become aware of every detail. Even if you don’t believe that everything is sent to test you, asking this question is a way of shifting from a position of powerlessness to a position of strength and control. If you ask the question “What is this here to teach me?” of every obstacle, you will tackle it from a different mindset.
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